okay so I suck at updating timely...

Eval went well... The social worker was nice though late and I was on edge. She expressed the need for me to get back into counseling. I know this and it is like number 4 on my to do list.  Overall though I was cleared that day!

Move on to Feb. 7! Took an extra hour to get there but I made it to my surgeons office. We had a 5 minute discussion and he gave me a date!!! I will be having gastric bypass April 5, 2017 as long as I get approval. I was signed up for a March 7th pre op class to take as my last NUT appointment and also to start preparing.

Today was the March 7 appointment! It went by quickly. Liquid stage is sounding a bit scary but anything to get rid of my diabetes ;or at least reduce my need for insulin.

food has become more about needing it already rather than wanting it.Then  have days like today and I feel like I have taken so many steps backwards. We were told today to make a positive out of our feelings of deprivation. I am not choosing to look at it that way. Instead I am thinking of it as 20-30 years more life, a healthier me, a more energetic and happy me. Heres hoping I can stick with that... no gaining now!Just losing!
caio

And now I am anxious... but not...

Went to support group on the 17th. It was nice but my anxiety is so high about the pschy eval. I wish I didn't have to wait as much as I do.

I worry that the person I will be seeing will say no or that I need longer to prepare and I already feel like I might back out if the wrong thing is said. This is just so scary on some levels. I want this tool, but it seems like it could become a threat, or might not fix the diabetes that I deal with. Both of which I am not sure I can deal with very well.

I have been tracking as much as possible and trying to organized my food better. But I realized how addicted I am to Starbucks and the ease of fast food. Yes I can make healthy decisions there, but it is still not good for me or my pocket book. I worry that I won't be able to stop. But I am trying.

I've cut down to three times a week at Starbucks, and I am trying to stay away from fast food at all cost.Work makes that harder... How do people prep meals? That is my number one issue. I can't seem to time manage meal prep into my day as well and I'd like. Though now its just breakfast and not lunch too. or Lunch and dinner. I can't believe what I was eating. Tracking is a life saver.

Well today I see the social worker/ counselor for my psychological eval. I thought I'd be more stressed but I am actually excited. I am hoping she might have a suggestion for a counselor outside that deal with food addiction and using food as an emotional crutch ( my number one issues).

Wish me Luck

First group nutrition appointment ( and probably the last ) Jan. 2 2017

So there are group nutrition appointments... at NOON! It is like they think we don't have jobs or lives outside of this decision and process. Luck for me I was on vacation, so got to make the one and only group appointment of this process.

I wish I could make more. I am normally really held back with group things. my problems are my own, but I really liked the people that were there and everyone was in the same boat. It was nice to feel that camaraderie. Got to learn alot of the new types of vitamins I will need and got lots of samples! Yes!

Left feeling very set again and up lifted because my semi- tracking lead to 3 lbs down! Now to survive back to work. One down side was learning that I'd need an additional nutritional appointment because one of the ones I had from before wasn't going to count. I hope this doesn't jepordize my ideal surgery date, but whenever it happens is good! I just want to be able to take the time off around a holiday.

Jan. 17 is support group! Which is awesome! So heres to getting the steps done! Still no photos, want an outift that I can use for a while. So have to decided on that soon.

jan.17 group
Jan 26 psych eval
Feb 7 Dr legha
Feb. 14 nutritionist

Last weeks mess ( dec. 5)

So last week I met with the bariatric nutritionist for the first time. But it was a big complicated before I got there.

So I got sick! I got all the vitamins and started taking them and I got sick! Like horribly ill, couldn't get out of bed sick. I lost my voice completely the over the weekend before my meet up with Jill and was worried I'd be signing and using a notepad to communicate! oh and it was my Birthday on my appointment day.

The day came around, had some help cleaning the house, then took a shower. Got some lunch and my voice started to not feel like sandpaper every time I used it. Finally the time came and headed for Jill's office! Our meeting was wonderful! I left feeling like I truly was making the right decision and not feeling so on the fence. The booklet we get was helpful, though most of it was covered in the orientation or on the sites I have been obsessing over.

Heres to the holidays